10 Fates
by Yuki Suou
Summary: ...and some more. That await the Mary Sues in Middle-Earth. Mild swearing in a chapter, warning given before that.
1. Chapter 1: Devoured by orcs

Disclaimer: I do not own anything you recognize.

No Mary Sue was harmed during the making of these stories. (You believed that?)

**Chapter 1: Devoured by orcs**

"Muller!", yelled the Maths teacher.

Startled, the addressed person looked up.

"How many times do I have to tell you NOT to use cell phones im my class?"

"Umm…"

"Yes, a very intelligent answer. Now hand that thing over." As she hesitated, Mr. Smith growled "Now."

Reluctantly, she handed it over to him. It was a sorry thing to happen, that too, just when she was looking at the picture of Legolas. Her beautiful Legolas. Her true love. What use was that stupid lecture when she could plan for the dress she was going to wear on their wedding? Sure Trigonometry could not help her reach the inviting arms of her lust, errr, love?

"now would you please wipe that stupid look off your face and concentrate on the darned thing I am teaching?"

He was so, so cruel, the unkindest person on the face of Earth.

Then she heard the whispers.

"Bet you all my possessions that she was thinking about that stupid elf boy", snickered Student A.

"Nope, no need for that. It is a universal truth. Like the sun goes round the Earth, oops, the opposite actually", finished Student B, with a smirk plastered to his face.

"Quiet!", shouted the already livid teacher once more.

"He is not stupid, THEY make him look stupid", mumbled student C.

"Whatever."

Josephine Andromeda Aranossë Aravellas Muller, in short, JAAAM was shocked. They said….. they said, Legolas was stupid! And she made him look stupid! Those heartless students, how could they? She bit her lips to stop herself from crying. But nothing could stop one perfect drop of tear from falling. They had slighted the name of the only one person she knew who would never treat her so badly. So typical of those monsters. She knew at that moment she was wrong about Mr. Smith. No, he wasn't the cruelest person in the world. They were.

And then again, how could she forget her family. Surreptitiously, she dabbed her eye (taking care not to remove the mascara) and glanced at the scar running along her dainty little finger.

Josephine Andromeda Aranossë Aravellas Muller, a.k.a, JAAAM had the toughest life one could ever imagine. Some of her woes were already listed above, to know more, read the next paragraph. You can skip it if you wish, you will miss nothing.

Where to start? Her family? Her father never, for once, cared about her. She remembered the time he had silenced her with a withering look (which, according to her sister was a weirded out look) when she had requested for a wedding dress made of mithril, surely it was not too much to ask for as a would-be princess, was it? Her mother was no less evil. Always, both of her parents went on and on about how good her sister aws, why she could not be more like her, etcetera etcetera. It was due to her mother that she has got the ugly scar on her fingers. It was from the time she had to pick up the shards of the broken vase. She tried to explain that it was an accident that she broke the vase, but no one seemed to listen to her. That witch sister of her even called her names (airhead). What was so great about her anyways, she was always jealous of her beauty and spent her time doing useless things. And the way she laughed when she talked about the love of her life.

Okay, sad story over. You can start reading now.

The class ended as she was revisiting those hurtful memories. She suddenly became aware of the fact that the whole class was staring at her. This happened often. Her beauty was a bane to her existence. Smiling shyly, she ducked her head.

She heard the tired voice of Mr. Smith. "Clearly, you didn't listen to a single word I said." Then he repeated slowly as she looked up, confused. "You will have to bring your parents to get your cell phone back. Understood?"

Horrorstruck, she could only nod mutely. No! Not her parents! She could already feel the students smiling behind her back. She knew they were going to abuse her, ridicule her as soon as the teacher left. She picked up her bag and dashed out of the room. She could feel tears prickling her eyes. She cannot go home. She will run away. Yes, she will run away. She has read enough fanfiction to know that if she entered the woods next to her school, she will reach Middle-Earth. Yes, that's what she would do.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Middle-Earth,

The orcs and the uruk-hais had just finished their mad race for the day and had dumped their prisoners on the ground carelessly.

One of the little creatures they had captured bit his lip to prevent the howl of pain from escaping his mouth. He knew all too well what would happen if those monsters heard it. But….

He looked around. His cousin was still unconscious.

"Merry?", he whispered. He was careful to keep his voice low. He would not risk the repetition of the event that had occurred earlier.

No response.

"Merry!", he tried a little bit louder.

This time, he opened his eyes.

"Uggh. Pip? I am awake."

Pippin sent a silent thanks to the forces that be. They had faced enough loss as it is. He could not bear the loss of his closest friend, too.

Merry did not fail to notice the relief flooding his younger cousin's feature.

He cracked a smile. He had only seen that look before when they used to escape Farmer Maggot's dog safely. How times change.

"No need to be so worried. I won't die so soon. I promised, remember?"

"Shut up, scumbags!" Two boots collided with each of their sides. As the pain subsided, Pippin could only think of one thing.

Promises won't keep them alive.

He tried to listen to the argument that had broken out between their captors. They argued a lot. But the ongoing one was… It was enough make him want to retch.

"Heard that? They want to eat us!" he whispered to Merry.

Merry nodded. "But the leader doesn't seem to agree."

"That could be our only hope."

"I think this is how the mushrooms feel when we attack them."

Pippin grimaced. Merry did have a sordid sense of humour.

Suddenly, a loud pop was heard. It even stopped the quarrel among the orcs.

A girl, hardly out of her teens, was standing near the fire lit by the uruks. The light of the fire amplified her perfect complexion. It shone on her hair like a thousand crystals. Her luminous eyes (under voluminous lashes) shone with different colour. Her figure….

Pippin paled. Merry gasped. Suddenly, they remembered, The Dark Lord was not the worst form of evil.

"Is that…"

"…..what I think that is?"

* * *

It was a beautiful starry night, just beside a magical forest, what was its name again? Hmm, Fangirl. That must be it.

That was what she first noticed when she came out of the portals. Not the threatening orcs, no. because noticing them was too mainstream.

But when she did, she almost fainted. There it was again. Everyone staring at her. She blushed scarlet. They didn't know that she has already given her heart to someone else.

She could predict what would happen next. Blinded by her beauty, and loveliness, the enemy would forget their malice against the world and fight to earn her hand. She paled at the thought of how many lives would be lost due to her loyalty to Legolas. She opened her mouth to speak, to prevent the impending disaster…

_~One can plan for the change in  
weather and time  
But I never planned for the change in your mind…~_

"It seems meat is back on menu, boys!"

* * *

"But I thought…"

"Don't think, Merry. They NEVER die." Pippin barely resisted the shudder.

"At least, it is not after us!"

"It seems meat is back on menu, boys!"

All of the blood-thirsty monsters rushed to the spot, captives forgotten for the moment.

They looked at each other. And both knew what was going on in the others mind.

Time to escape.

"Seems it will die this time."

He has never been so wrong.

For in their hurry to escape, they failed to notice the sparkling cloud of glitters that had suddenly appeared where the abomination stood.

* * *

Later, when the Éored of the Third Marshall slaughtered the uruks, none of them questioned why those beasts where in such a dazed state. Neither did they appear to notice the pink glitters that covered the abominations of Saruman.

After all, they all had dreadful memories regarding pink glitters.

* * *

Disclaimer 2: The song lyrics belong to Taylor Swift. Not me.

A/N: Well, it seems Pippin was right after all. They don't really die. :D What do you think? Read and review please!


	2. Chapter 2: Executed by Nazgul

Disclaimer : I only own the Mary Sues. Nothing more. Nothing less.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Executed by Nazguls.**

The sun, once again, was ending her daily journey.

Birds were going back to their nests, cattle were returning to their respective barns and people were on their way to the nice cosy homes, beckoning to them with a promise of a warm fire and hot soup. All the routine activity of the day was just coming to a halt for the night.

But in the forests, the scenario was quite different. As the sun disappeared from the horizon, one by one, the creatures of the night started to come to life once again, after the death like slumber. Darkness himself started to creep up from beneath the roots and shrubs, and spreading upwards, downwards, forwards, backwards, in every direction possible. He was determined to snuff out the last vestiges of that which he feared the most, that which prevented him from dominating the world once and forever. But for now, it was a moment of victory that, though, short-lived, was worth the effort.

And Darkness was not alone in his devilry. He had his greatest friend and worst rival with him, Fear. Fear, who sought out not only to the minds that were naturally afraid, but also slithered in quietly, inside those hearts that did not care about him. Even the bravest of all souls succumbed to his manipulations. And his deeds were all the more amplified if his companion lent him a hand. True, they fought among each other regarding supremacy, but they knew one thing for sure. To overshadow the world, they needed co-operation.

A horse cantered along a narrow path inside the forest. His rider, a dark hooded figure, understood the conversations of the aforementioned entities all too well. Because he, who was long ago a king of great renown, was now an embodiment of those two things himself. He spurred his horse to a gallop and let out a terrifying shriek, the only means of communication remaining to the likes of them.

The Nine were supposed to meet that day. Long after searching for The One that bound their fates to the Dark Lord, they had finally found a lead, in the form of a wretched creature that had spit out two precious words

"Shire…Baggins….."

It was long since they had walked the face of Arda and to find "Baggins", they first needed to find "Shire". They had decided on the meeting to set their course to find the place and retrieve The One.

He could already see the others assembling. Not actually see, but more like feel. With a final spurt of speed, his horse brought him to his allies. His peers.

The world has changed a lot. So have the countries and the places. They needed to find that darned place before anything happened.

They were just debating on their course in that strange hissing language, when they heard a loud crack.

"What was that?", said Nazgul number 2. And immediately clapped his hand over his mouth (or where it should be) in a very un-Nazgul like manner.

"You can speak?" wondered the Witch King a.k.a Necromancer a.k.a Nazgul number 1.

"Uh oh…"

"You don't think?"

"Not again!"

A collective groan was heard from the group.

"Ummm, guys? I don't think we should stay here anymore." Squeaked No. 9.

"Since when are we afraid of anything? And GUYS?" shrieked No.1. "Now we are speaking modern. Great, just great."

"I… I don't understand!" No.9 looked befuddled. "It seems something is messing with the circuits in my brain!"

"Neurons, you mean." Corrected No. 5.

No. 2 pointed to one side quietly, "I think that might be the cause of our problems."

All the heads swiveled to locate the source of their "other-worldly" trouble.

Sure enough, a woman in her mid-twenties was standing in the clearing that No. 2 pointed out. He ran a mental list of things…..

Beautiful beyond comparison. Check.

Perfectly curvaceous body. Check.

Long black hair that outshone Luthien's by a mile. Check.

Dress which was modestly revealing (that is, it left nothing to imagination). Check.

Black, why black? Oh, she must be the Evil!type. Then, black kohl that nearly covered her whole eyes. Check.

Wand. Check.

Wait, a wand?

A WAND?

"My, my, so the Nazzykins have answered the Dark Mark? It seems I apparated just in time. Now, kneel." She said in a sickeningly sweet voice that made even the Nazguls shudder.

"What apparate? What Dark Mark? And who are you to order us to kneel?" barked the Witch King.

"You don't say?" Evil!Sue seemed genuinely surprised. "you don't know, like, what Dark Mark is?"

"No and I don't think he should know," interjected No.2, cutting off the outrageous retort of No.1. "That guy seriously is having some ego problem," he mused. "Anyway, who are you?" he asked. "Not that I don't know", he added under his breath.

The Evil!Sue, tried to look intimidating as she answered "I am (insert a ridiculously long name here, because the author's imagination is failing her), descendent of Salazar Slytherin and Lord Voldemort. I am the result of the union of…"

"Aren't you in the wrong fandom?" asked No. 5.

She sneered."That was what I was coming to, before you decided to interrupt. As I was saying, I am the result of the union of….."

"We don't need to know that, woman! Just state your business here." No.1 was literally boiling with rage.

No.2 whispered to No.1 urgently, "No, we need to! Otherwise we won't be able to get rid of this abomination."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, you stupid ugly zombies!" she shrieked in a particularly high note.

No one paid her any heed.

The Witch King looked skeptically at No. 2, "You're sure?"

"Yes, let me handle this."

No.1 consented uncertainly.

"Are you even listening, you dolts?"

No. 2 nodded. "Yes, My Lady. Please continue."

Satisfied at the tone of the Nazgul, she said, "So, as I was saying, Sauron fell in love with the grand-daughter of Lord Voldemort and I was born as a result of their undying love."

No. 2 coughed and it seemed contagious, as the others also hacking fits of cough which seemed suspiciously like, "Breaking *cough* of Fourth *cough* Dimension, *cough* anyone?"

Since her brain capacity was less than the size of a peanut, she failed to understand this and continued, "Then, an Elf-Prince came and killed my mother and I have come for revenge."

"..."

"…."

"…."

"…."

"She wasn't talking about Kreacher by any chance, was she?" whispered No.5.

"Nah, I think it's Legolas." No.9 squeaked back.

"What did you say your age was?" inquired No. 2.

"Why, I am barely 20 years!"

He dismounted his horse.

"So you claim to be the daughter of the Dark Lord?"

She tossed her head and said, "Yes and you better kneel and pledge your allegiance to me, like they do with sword, you know."

He nodded and took out his sword with a deadly hisssss.

Everyone waited with bated breath.

Then he cut off her head. Clean.

And the Witch King observed all this without a single comment.

And like always, as their memories of their encounter with the Sauron!Sue started to fade with her beheaded body going "Poof" in black glitters, he could not contain his anger any longer. He shrieked out at the last moment,

" #$ #%$% #$, how the Mordor can the Dark Lord have a twenty year old daughter when he has been a bleeping eyeball for nearly a whole darned Age?"

* * *

**A/N:** So that's the second chapter. Phew!

Now, replying to reviews:

No. of reviews received till 13/05/2014: **3**

**BorysBorys: **You just wait! It will become crueler. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

**kaitlynchosenisme**: You really have been a great support to me. Thank you. I always wait for your PMs.

**Ginny(Guest): **Did you actually read the whole story? It IS a Mary-Sue story, but the genre is parody. And about the poor writing part, well I would love your advice on how to improve it. Hope this chapter meets your satisfaction.

**A/N 2:** You know, review is the food to our inspirations. If you don't want it to die, then what are you waiting for? :D Press the little button underneath!


	3. Chapter 3(a): Stoned Part I

Disclaimer: It's simple, if you know it, then I don't own it.

**Chapter 3: Stoned.**

"If you are reading this book, then be warned! You are about to be targeted by the worst possible Enemy, about whom you know Nothing with a capital N. So, there are fair chances of you under-estimating The Enemy, which might be the first step towards your Doom. So, listen, oops, read and accept The Counsel from this book…."

"Can the author stop with the capital letters already?", snorted Diamond. "She(or he) is speaking as if the world is coming to an end."

"With a capital E?", said Estella.

But Rosie looked worried. "What is this danger that we are about to face? We should continue to read, you know."

Estella waved her off. "I think the author is simply over-reacting. There is nothing to worry about."

"Where did you find the book anyway?", asked Diamond.

"That's the strangest thing. This book was not here before today morning, it just dropped from the ceiling of the pantry when I went to fetch the seedcake."

Diamond frowned. "From the ceiling of the pantry, you say?"

Rosie nodded. "I think we should read on to find out about the danger that we are about to face, imaginary though it might be. If nothing happens, then we can have a good laugh about it. But if it _does _warn us about an impending danger, no I don't want to take a chance."

The other two women agreed. After all, they didn't have anything else to do and it doesn't hurt to read.

"….. It began with the forging of the Great Epics. Inadvertently, the Great Authors left some untied end of the stories, and from those untied end rose the One Great Evil, the Mary Sue of the world of Fanfiction."

"Fanfiction?"

"Mary Sue?"

Estella paled. "I have heard Merry mutter something along that line during his nightmares."

Diamond continued to read.

"… at this stage you don't have to worry about anything else but The Mary Sue. This Mary Sue(or Gary Stu, if it is a male) is created by some inexperienced authors or those authors, who, inspite of receiving constructive suggestions continue to ignore them and keep on strengthening this monster by carrying on to write weak stories.

So, what is this Sue? As mentioned, it is a result of a weakly written story where the authors(generally of a particular age group) create character/s who tend to be better than any canon character(i.e., characters who are in the story legally) in any category, be it appearance, skill, strategy, you name it, and they are better than you. Also, they generally have a very pain painful past(which might seem completely normal to us) that makes other persons sympathize with them and….."

"What is wrong with that? I haven't seen a single threat till here." Rosie wondered.

But this time, it was Estella who urged them to continue.

"… also makes the canon characters do things that they would NEVER do normally. For eg., if the Sue targets Samwise Gamgee, then she will make him forget about his own true love Rosie Cotton, which is quite impossible since it was her existence that drove him forward even in the darkness of Mordor."

Rosie didn't know whether to blush or fume.

"Now do you see the threat, Rosie?", Estella asked quietly. "It might happen to anyone of us."

"Now that I think about it, I have heard Pippin mention that some time ago," said Diamond.

"And how can we defeat her if she is better than us in every aspect?"

"Don't you see?" It was Rosie this time. "It is our flaws that make us more powerful against the Sues. If they _are _that flawless, then we are at a more favourable position. Because they haven't seen failure. We have. And we learn from them."

Suddenly, the pages of the book started to change by themselves and came to rest at a certain page. They read it aloud,

"If you understand that much, then you have won the war already. Get ready; it is coming your way. Keep faith in your own abilities. May the Force be with you."

The book disappeared.

"Wait, what?"

"Hey, where did it go?"

"It disappeared!"

Ding-dong.

Everyone slowly turned their head towards the door.

"It is coming."

They looked at each other and nodded.

**oOoOoOoOoO**

At first, Pippin didn't understand why his and his friends' wives suddenly rushed out of the house, armed with knives, frying pan and the likes.

"What's going on?"

They stopped in their tracks.

"You?"

Then, he heard Merry laugh.

"Read the book, didn't you?"

"What book?" asked a befuddled Pippin.

"Ask them."

He stared at them.

Diamond pointed her finger at the culprit. "You!"

Merry bowed. "Guilty as charged."

"What happened?"

Merry doubled over with laughter. "Oh, it's nothing, I just kept a horror story book in the pantry which was supposed to fall as soon as someone opened the cupboard."

"Oh."

The three women looked at each other.

"In the cupboard?"

"Yes, sorry for that, but it was fun to see your expressions."

"But it fell from the ceiling!"

This time, it was Merry's turn to look flummoxed.

"Ceiling?"

They nodded.

"What was the name of the book?"

"Easiest ways to defeat Mary-Sues."

Just at that moment, Pippin noticed a pink haze forming in the dining room.

"RUN!"

**oOoOoOoOoO **

A/N: Sorry for the late update and the crappy chapter. I would understand completely if you'll throw flaming spiders at me. *hides behind computer*

Date of update: 25/07/2014

No. of reviews received till 25/07/2014: **5**

Thanks to **kaitlynchosenisme**,** FireflyBullets**,** annafan**, **Eris'-twin-sister **and** ScribeofHeroes **for the amazing reviews. You guys are my heroes!

No. of favourites till 25/07/2014: **4 (**Thanks,** Somariel**,** PrincessMnMz **and** FirefleBullets **once again.**)**

No. of follows till 25/07/2014: **4** (**kaitlynchosenisme**, **Somariel**,** PrincessMnMz **and** Eris'-twin-sister ** ** )**

Hope you won't hate the new installment.

So, read and review please?

(Also I have started a new fic called "Legends Speak Season 1". You might want to try it out.) End of self-advertisement. :D

Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4: Awestruck by Thranduil

Disclaimer: I'm broke. No own, so no sue. Sue, sue. Geddit?

**Chapter 3: Awe'struck' by Thranduil.**

It was Legolas who had chanced upon her.

Because Valar forbid, the potential love interest of either Legolas, célibataire extraordinaire or his father, the breath-takingly handsome and heart-breakingly married Elvenking is intercepted by any other guard.

"Daro!" Yeah, Legolas loves to steal Haldir's catch-phrase.

Suddenly, the traveler found herself surrounded by elven warriors all having their bows trained on her, with Legolas leading the group. (Replace Legolas with Haldir and the forest with a less gloomy one. Entry of The Fellowship to Lothlórien, anyone?)

"Reveal yourself!" This was not written in Elvish since the author's knowledge in that particular language has already been drained.

The hood was lowered to reveal a strikingly beautiful woman (no surprise there) with golden hair, like that of molten gold mixed with the colour of the setting sun and orbs like golden pool of mesmerization (Honestly, orbs? Pools? What's wrong with good ol' eyes?) that Legolas found himself drowning in. The woman utilized the time he required to latch onto the life-jacket to pull some super ninja moves and disarmed the guards. After all, they were only seven-ish hardened, experienced warrior, all with several pointy weapons. Piece of cake.

So, by the time Legolas had managed to reach the coast, he was the only one standing with weapons. He was so surprised by her skills, that he accidentally let loose an arrow. Why in the name of Mandos Legolas was still armed was beyond the scope of the readers.

She fell down, unconscious.

So he had grievously injured a woman by accident, the same woman who, not long ago, had proved to be quite a threat.

"My fair lady!", he cried. "Oh, what have I done? Father is going to be furious (No, you dolt, he would be besides himself with joy. You could have done him a great service, but alas….)! Let's take her to the healer."

Aaaaaaand, so, all the guards left their post vulnerable just to bring a potential threat to the great Halls of the Elvenking, when two people could have easily completed the job.

Inside the Halls…

"Take her to the healer!"

Legolas dashed to the throne room, but his super-elf daddy was nowhere to be seen. He then promptly headed towards his study and was just about to bang the doors, when,

"Enter."

"Father!"

Thranduil looked up from the document he was studying and raised ONE eyebrow. (Now, THAT, seriously is tough. I had to practice for quite a long time, still I can't seem to get it right.)

"What is the matter, ion-nin?"

Legolas did a word vomit. Technically, elves are considered way too graceful for that, but, you know, fanfiction….

Thranduil had a serene smile on his face as he said "I see", but made no movement to get up.

"You are… not going to see her?" Legolas was shocked to not get a good scolding.

"Considering that I cannot someone who is unconscious, I have to wait till the healers mend her up. Send the others back to the post."

Legolas nodded. As he turned to go, he heard his father say "I need you to stay until she wakes up."

Inclining his head in acknowledgement, the Prince left the room leaving a brooding King behind.

A few hours later…

Thranduil once again had his concentration shattered by the hurried approaching footsteps of his son. This time, he got up and opened the door himself.

"Is she awake?"

Legolas bobbed his head up and down excitedly.

The Elvenking put his hand on his beloved son's shoulder.

"You go ahead, I am coming."

**OoOoOoOoOo**

Thranduil entered the infirmary to find the mysterious woman seated, facing away from the door while Legolas was staring at her with openly expressed awe.

He sighed. This might be tough.

Sensing his presence, she turned towards him.

His eyes narrowed. He decided on the blunt approach.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my realm?"

She gave him a small smile and replied smoothly, "I am Mereníl, a healer from Imladris and I wanted to see the wondrous Halls of yours, Your Majesty. Also, with the threat looming around your borders I thought that my knowledge of Alchemy and Alkahestry from my previous life might benefit you."

He sighed again.

"So, why are you travelling alone?"

She blinked. "Ah, well…"

At this, Thranduil smacked her with his stick….. staff thing. Legolas gasped, which went completely ignored.

"Alright, spit it. Who are you after, me or my son?"

The woman looked surprised."How do you know?"

Poof!

In the place of the stunningly beautiful woman, now sat a short, fat girl, hardly into her tweens with plain black hair and eyes, glaring at him with all her might.

Legolas' jaw dropped.

Thranduil raised both his eyebrows this time.

"You are barely a little…"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIMG SO SHORT….."

"Really Yuki, quoting Edward Elric now?"

If possible, the girl got more frustrated. "How do you even know of him? And my pen-name?"

He looked at her pointedly. "YOU are the one who broke the fourth wall, little one."

She huffed.

"You never answered my question. Were you after me or my son?"

Her cheeks turned red. She mumbled something which was almost inaudible to the King. Almost.

He smirked, "Pardon, what was that?"

"You heard me quite well."

"But my son didnn't."

"Fine!" She threw her hands up. "It was you."

His smirk got bigger, "You see, little one…."

"Stop calling me that!"

She was ignored. "I am already married and my wife is quite well, thank you. She never died or sailed. Ever." He called out to someone.

An elleth with a gentle smile on her face entered. Thranduil introduced her to his latest fangirl.

"Wow!", she said.

"Exactly."

"But why is she never mentioned?"

At this, Thranduil's eyes flashed.

"Maybe, your beloved writer did not deem her to be important enough. Or maybe, because she never had a Ring of Power." He actually sounded bitter.

Yuki nodded thoughtfully. And sighed loudly.

"So you are married?"

"Happily. Now if I am mot wrong, you have some tests coming up next week for which you haven't studied properly while day-dreaming. About me. Am I correct?"

She flashed him another glare.

The Queen chuckled.

"Time to go home, little one."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. But I really wanted to see this place."

"Another time maybe? When it is safer?"

She shrugged.

"And study well!"

As she disappeared with a spark, the King and the Queen burst out laughing at the look on their son's face.

"What just happened?"

Thranduil smiled at him knowingly.

"Seemed like a self-insert."

Legolas still had a blank expression when his father ordered him to return to his guard duty.

**OoOoOoOoOo**

In a place, separated from Mirkwood by a huge expanse of space and time, the same girl woke up with a start.

"What the hell did I just dream?"

**oOoOoOoOoO **

**A/N: **I just parodied myself. It felt AWESOME! :D

I want to say that I am sorry for not updating sooner, but actually the left hemisphere of my brain shut down for some time. so, I decided to wait till I got a nice idea that presenting you with a shitty chapter. Hope you liked this. Waiting to hear the response in the review. *wink*

And yeah, I am fangirling after Thranduil. Poor me.

**A/N 2: **I will post the continuation of the previous chapter later.

Date of update: 23/10/2014

No. of reviews received till 23/10/2014: **5**

Thanks to **mourningsongg**,** OneSizeFitsAll**,** sian22**, **The Rogue beta **and** ScribeofHeroes **for the reviews. I feel that I am on cloud nine ^_^

No. of favourites till 23/10/2014: **2 (**Thanks** EchoesofMemory **and** The Rogue beta.)**

No. of follows till 23/10/2014: **5** **(The Rogue beta, Lily Lindsey-Aubrey, pthree, onyx faye **and** mourningsongg.)**

Virtual cookies to all! Thanks again.


	5. Chapter 5: Gulp!

**Chapter 5: "Gulp"!**

"Look I'm telling you, you just can't go in there! I'm the burglar of the Company, I have to go in. The Dragon will be able to see you!"

Hybrid!Sue (who shall be referred to as X, because, let's face it, the author has a very limited imagination regarding names) jutted out her chin in a way which was supposed to be "authority-defying" but turned out to look like a bad case of cervical spine disorder, said, "I'm the biologically impossible crossbreed of a fairy and a dragon, Smaug will not have the heart to hurt me."

Then she thought to herself, "Then, I'll complete my mission, though I will not tell this to Thorin now, else, he'll panic needlessly."

As expected, a roar of indignation went up among the dwarrows, for how could they lose such a valuable biological specimen to the dragon, when the hobbit was quite expendable?

She tried to assuage their fears. After all, she was X, who learned sword-fighting in a day, archery in an hour and seduced the living descendants of Durin in a minute, minor things like huge living talking furnaces should not be a hindrance to her.

Then Prince-princey McBroodyPants casted his broody eyes broodily on her beautiful visage and said, no, growled broodily, "I cannot let the only love of my life and my nephews' walk into such a danger. You'll stay here."

At this, she crept closer to lover No.1, way closer than is decent, put her hands on either side of his face and whispered, "I'll be careful, love."

Thorin then growled and proceeded to an intense snog-session, which left his two nephews begging for some.

"I'll be back," she said.

"You better don't," thought Balin.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

As they neared the chamber in which the dragon lay, she instructed Bilbo not to do anything. Bilbo nodded stiffly, if she was all that she claimed, why did he have to get the dwarrows out of every single trouble? He quietly slipped on the ring, it was no use hiding, she already knew about that.

She stepped in to find that Smaug was only pretending to slumber and she drew her sword and said, "O Smaug the Magnificient, I am X, the daughter of Y, the King of Dragons, whom you unjustly slew and I am here for revenge!"

Bilbo face-palmed.

"Indeed!" laughed Smaug. Then show me your prowess, puny thing!"

By this time, Bilbo had already seen the Arkenstone and was slowly creeping towards it. As soon as he had grabbed the Arkenstone, X's sword flashed. He turned to see,

"GULP!"

Smaug had swallowed her whole and was looking a bit confused.

He took that opportunity to slip out without being barbequed.

"So, even those creatures have some uses," mused The Burglar.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**A/N:** Effect of watching The Battle of Five Armies :D. How did like the movie? It was not bad, but some points were really disappointing. Like, Kiliel and Legolas behaving like a brat. Like saying that Aragorn was already The Strider. Like CGI Dain (Why did he do that? What was the problem with a real Dain?). Like Alfrid (I still don't get why no one *cough cough Gandalf* smacked him.). Like Legolas' showing off.

But Richard Armitage, Martin Freeman and Lee Pace rocked. And creepy green Lady (That was AWESOME! Though Galadriel deserved a bit of real combat, didn't she?). And the great moose, who is actually a CGI over a horse. And the entrance of Dain. And everything else.

Overall, the movie gets a 6.9/10 from me.

What is your opinion about the movie?

And this chapter?

Please do tell.

Those who reviewed, favorited and followed:

**onyx faye  
annafan  
Megknis(FOUR reviews!)  
MoonWolf13  
Maevainwen Adaniel**

I hope I didn't miss anyone! Thanks a lot! You don't know what the reviews mean to me. #so_happy!


	6. Chapter 6: Panned!

**A/N:** This chapter is a suggestion from **FireflyBullets.** Hope you like this!

**Chapter 5: "Pan"ned**

"Riseth, mine brave knight! Fear not, for lo and behold, thy saviour hath arrived!"

Pippin woke up with a violent start. Wiping the beads of sweats on his face, he let out a sigh of relief. That was just a nightmare, phew! Thank the Valar though, for if Gandalf had found out that he had fallen asleep on watch…

"Ah, my dear friend! Dideth I startleth thee?"

Pippin whirled around…..

… and promptly fainted, but not before letting out a cry of alarm.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

"Oh no, Arry, 'tis not my skill in the art of healing, what shouldeth we do about our little hobbit?"

"My fair Lady, he is going to be fineth, we should moveth on to more important matters, for example, we must memorizeth thine name first!"

"Aww, that is so kawai! I was nameth Portia Cleopatra Merida Topaz Caesar (Finally, a name! Hey, hey, hey, don't laugh, if Sapphire, Emerald etc. etc. can be considered as name, why not Topaz? *pats herself on the back*) by my Adar!" giggled Warrior!Shakespeare!Sue.

"What are your skills, O Beautiful (gag) One?" piped Legolas.

"I am a formidable warrior, Prince Leggy! None can surpass my skill in fighting; I am skilled in all kinds of weapon, be it sword, bow, knife, magic, wand, glaive, spear, mace…." The fading of the voice suggested they were moving away from him.

Pippin's head hurt from all the high-pitched giggles and frankly speaking, he was relieved that they were leaving him alone. Time to stop feigning unconsciousness.

"Psst, psst!"

He located Merry's voice and quickly scampered towards the bush it was coming from. From there, they made their way to the secret camp that was set by The Fellowship, in case anything like this happened.

He was secretly hoping that Gandalf would be there to help them, no matter what, that wizard was really nice when he wanted to be. But he was seriously disheartened to see that the only other person in the camp was Sam, who was hugging his back-pack tightly.

He turned to Merry, "Status report?"

Merry replied grimly, "No one could escape its spell. I had to drag Sam out; otherwise he also would have been like them."

"But….. but Mr. Frodo! I couldn't save him!"

Merry soothed him. "It wouldn't have done him any good if you were also affected, would it now Sam? At least, now we can do something!"

Sam nodded sourly.

Pippin frowned. "Weakness? Strength I know, it is a Warrior!Sue."

"We'll have to find out how good it is. But, it has already deactivated Gandalf, there is very little hope for us."

"There is always hope!" he replied fiercely.

Merry grinned. "So, shall we?"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

The three of them peered through the bushes, and it was just in time to see the beginning of the mock-combat.

First up was Boromir. The Sue laughed, "Only you? Oh my, why do not we have a three-sided-one?" Aragorn jumped to oblige to her wishes.

The trio winced at the defeat of their two of the strongest Fellowship members. Legolas was the only one to have some ground against it, both of them cut through each other's arrows. Gimli was nowhere to be found, so was Gandalf. And Frodo was busy writing poetry dedicated to it.

They returned to their camp for lunch. Serious thinking required fuel.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

They got their moment of victory in the evening, and it was so abrupt that they weren't quite sure of the events themselves, and as usual, they passed the whole incident off as a nightmare.

It happened something like this:

It was busy trying to coax Frodo into something quite inappropriate, when the Ring slipped out of his shirt.

And that was when the mistake was made.

It cooed, "Frodo, sweetheart, it must be so tiring of you to carry around that burden all the while. If you want to, I can shareth your pains and some more." It winked.

By this time, Frodo was starting to come out of the trance. At first, he replied politely, "No, my Lady, it is my weight to bear, I cannot let anyone else suffer the same."

"But, surely, you wisheth to part with it somehow?"

"Only after my task is done."

It inched it's fingers towards it, "But it's so beautiful! So Precious….."

Frodo jumped away from her. "Don't come near me!"

It lunged forward, "It's MINE!"

BANG!

It collapsed.

"Don't you dare touch Mr. Frodo!"

Sam's The Frying Pan® was still vibrating when the remaining "unimportant" members of the Fellowship started to reappear.

Gandalf took one look at Pippin's face and swore loudly. Ai Eru, that Fool of a Took was never going to let him live that down.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Somewhere, in a completely different dimension, a certain wanted thief was wielding the same type of Frying Pan® , shouting, "Whoa, mama, I've got to get me one of THESE!"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**A/N 2:** Sorry, couldn't miss that reference! :D Has anyone actually read any Shakespeare!Sue? I am yet to read about one, except in parodies. My Word was crying from all the assault I made it face today. It's only showing red underlines!

So, how was it? Listen guys, I would not be able to improve if I don't get feed-back! More than 800 views and not even 3% reviews? Man, I'm seriously disheartened. *cries in a corner*

Anyway, heaps and loads of thanks to those who actually took the time to review, favourite and/or follow:

**onyx faye  
Lana** (*blushing* Thank you! And yeah, I DID like Dain, but the fact that PJ behaved like a kid in the candy store with CGI was the most annoying part.)  
**OneSizeFitsAll  
RainonSaturn**

Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 3b: Stoned

**A/N: **Crude language alert. It is necessary. Hope you guys don't mind.

**Chapter 3(b): Stoned.**

Rosie wiped the sweat from her brows. It was a particularly hot day and the inn was full, more than usual. Drinks and food were ordered continuously and the waiters were having a hard time, weaving to and fro in the crowd without spilling a single drop.

"Three mugs of ale at the third table, first row."

"Bread and a bowl of soup to third row second table."

"More beer!"

"Curry!"

"Cheese and butter please!"

"Blueberry tart at the first table!"

All in all, Rosie didn't even have the time to breathe.

It was on such a crucial time that she noticed Estella and Diamond enter the inn with The Abomination.

Perfect.

Time to put their plan in action.

Smiling evilly, which was not quite befitting the good-natured hobbit woman (But, hey, you try to combat women who always try to snatch your husband from you, and you'll understand), she slipped in a strong concoction of the most potent nature, in the ale that was to be served to the One.

Remembering the words of The Counsel (refer to chapter 3a), she took a deep breath and commenced the third part of the mission.

Part One: Gain her trust.

Part Two: Bring her to the inn.

Part Three: Get her roaring drunk.

Part Four: Get her to confess her crimes.

Part Five: Leave it to the other hobbits to teach her a lesson for trying to steal other's husbands/lovers/betrothed.

After all, The Book said, to believe in their own talents.

And Rosie's secret talent was the ability to brew the strongest drink of their land. Talk about weird hobbies.

She forced herself to form a dazzling smile as she neared the table. The girl may want to reconsider her boasts of being the drinking champion. After all, it was quite clear that it was the first time she was allowed a decent drink.

"Here, uhh, Rafflesia Cassandra, we are honored to have you as a guest." She raised her voice, effectively drawing the attention of the crowd, "See the lass drink!"

"Drink at one go, lass!"

"Bottom's up!"

Estella smirked.

Diamond snickered and raised her tankard.

By the time the Hobbit!Friendly!Sue! realized their plans, it was too late.

Thunk.

She had already downed the whole thing and had face-planted on the table.

The inn erupted with laughter.

"Don't take a challenge you can't win!"

" 'I can beat any people in drinking', said she. Look at her now!"

Estella allowed herself a smile. Too bad for the Sue, she was "the talker" kind of drunk.

Time to go to the next stage of the plan.

After all, Estella was best at planning. No one in The Shire could beat her in that.

Diamond immediately started Part Four.

Shaking her by the shoulder, she said, "So, Rafflesia…."

Blearily opening her eyes, the Sue hiccuped, "Who *hick* is Rafflesia? I am (insert a very common name here of your choice, I don't want to offend anyone)."

"Poor thing forgot her own name!" Hollered one of them.

"Actually, that's her actual name." Diamond's ice-cold voice cut through the shouts.

"She is an imposter." Added Rosie.

"Why would she come here then?" asked a voice. The cheer in the inn had died down with all those words. The Shire-folks were much more cautious about these types of people since the incident with Saruman.

"Go on, Diamond!"

"Why have you come here?" asked the interrogator-in-charge.

"To f*** those cuties of course! Why would anyone else come to this boring place anyway?"

Most of them winced at the crude use of language. Our three heroines raised their eyebrows. Well, this is the first time anyone have been this direct.

But this confession took a toll on her. The hobbits were surprised as the girl suddenly changed appearance to one of the Big People.

"Treachery!"

With the appearance of her own body, the effects of the drink wore off. She snarled at the three rivals.

"You bitch! You fooled me!"

Diamond addressed the crowd, "You see, folks, in front of your eyes the actual situation. You hear with your own ears her motive. These mindless wenches have only one objective in their mind: To force our men into adultery. So, is this a threat or not?"

Diamond was by nature a quiet girl, but when she wanted to speak, no one could deny the power she held over masses. That was her talent.

The Sue leered. "When I call my friends here, none of you runts would be able to stand against them."

Estella flipped her mug and launched it straight at the Sue's nose, "Bring it on."

Ultimately, the Sue had no way other out than fleeing when the rest of the inn followed Estella's example.

After all, Prof. Tolkien himself had said, "… they were keen-eyed and sure at the mark….. If any Hobbit stooped for a stone, it was well to get quickly under cover, as all trespassing beasts knew very well."

And The Shire lived peacefully ever after.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

A/N: I know, here the hobbits looked a bit more dangerous, but I will attribute that to the fact that this was after Saruman had invaded Shire. So naturally, the hobbits had ceased to be the ignorant and sheltered people they used to be.

And also, I wanted to write badass RED (Rosie, Estella, Diamond) :D

QUESTION 1: I really want to write a nice GDIME story. Would anyone want to read it?

QUESTION 2: I was thinking of ending this story after 10 chapters. Do you think I should continue after that? Then, maybe I'll take requests. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

QUESTION 3: Has anyone seen the movie "Epic"? I really liked it!

I reached 1000+ views and 30 reviews with the last chapter. Yoohoo, you guys are awesome!

**aliena wyvern  
KnowledgeandImagination  
LexxHiddleston  
Lily Lindsey-Aubrey  
OneSizeFitsAll  
Onyx Faye  
Eris'-twin-sister  
Elhini Prime**

Think I can make it to 50 at the end of this story? *wishful thinking*

But it might be possible if you guys continue to send your feedbacks (Positive, negative or otherwise)!

So, read and review!

Thanks for reading!

*rant over*


	8. Chapter 7: Silly author's silly songs

**Chapter 7: Silly author's silly songs.**

**Song 1: Be careful what you wish for.**

(To be sung in the tune of "The Road goes ever on and on")

The film goes ever on and on,  
Mary-Sue sat and ogled the hunks.  
One day she wished on a shooting star,  
"Lemme marry an elf and/or Longshanks!"

Swiftly was her wish answered;  
Down fell Dobby and grinned at her  
Seeing his new long shanks she was stunned,  
Never ever did she wish on a shooting star!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Song 2: The Tale of The Troll and Emeliel**

(To be sung in the tune of "The Song of Beren and Luthien")

A troll was there, he lived on hills.  
He liked to eat and sit on things.  
And when he roared, he gave us chills,  
Once quite a noble deed he did!

Emeliel was shining there,  
To the annoyance of all that lived  
Prancing with her rainbow hair,  
And eyes the colour of everything.

Then she pondered long and wide,  
"Why not tame all beasts in sight?  
Let's start with the troll on hills,  
Sure, it's not an arduous thing?"

There she went and began singing,  
The troll said words none too flattering,  
And when he couldn't stop her to sing,  
He went and sat on the Drama-Queen.

"SPLAT" she went, her shrieking gone,  
People all around begun,  
To sing the praise of that One Troll  
Who saved them from bursting eardrums.

Even the kings honoured him,  
The only one time in History.  
But why he became appalling pink,  
It remained a great mystery.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**A/N:** And that is my sorry attempt at song parodies. This will be the last update till March, so please read and review and wait for the next chapter!

Thanks a ton to all those who reviewed, followed and/or favorite (Oh, Oh, only 11 reviews till 50! Sooooooo Excited!)

**aliena wyvern  
Yuune5  
Elhini Prime  
nosmaeth  
Crescent Moon Dancer  
Onyx Faye  
KiliandFiliGirl** (Thank you! I would gladly do your request, but do you have a profile? I need to discuss something with you about it!)

How dreadful was it? Please review!

Thanks for reading!


	9. Chapter 8: A shocking revelation

**A/N: **Yeah, I know that I said in my last chapter that I wouldn't update till March, but I HAD to write this mainly for two reasons,

a) The minor one is that I am way too stressed and this acts a stress-buster.

b) I reached half-century in the review count! Can you believe that?! This story received 50 reviews! So this is a little gift to express my gratitude! *throws confetti*

Thanks to all those who made it possible, be it previous chapters, or in the last one. *bows deeply*

All those who reviewed, favourited and/or followed in the last chapter. Frankly, I am surprised you all read that thing xD

**OneSizeFitsAll  
aliena wyvern  
OneSizeFitsAll **(Yes, twice, because I forgot to include your name in the last chapter. Sorry once again!)**  
Elhini Prime  
Guest **(Thanks for the review, and no, I'm sorry, they just don't die!)  
**KiliandFiliGirl **(Hope you get your account soon! Were your brothers horrified at the songs? :D)**  
nosmaeth  
Emiko Aika  
Onyx Faye  
Megknsis  
Lily Lindsey(Lindir :D)-Aubrey**

*wondering* Can I reach the 100 mark?

*Everyone shouts and throws tomatoes* You're SOOOO greedy!

Onto the chapter!

Sorry for the longest A/N!

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**Chapter 8: A shocking revelation**

It was one of the days during their journey towards the South when the discussion started.

They had stopped for the day and everyone was busy doing something or the other. Gandalf put a little bit his dwindling supply of Longbottom leaves in his pipe and lit it carefully. He made a note to ask for some more from Merry on a later date. He had noticed the hobbit stash some away in Rivendell.

He glanced around as he released one of his magical smoke-rings. Each member of the Fellowship was gathered nearby. The two of the youngest hobbits were taught fighting stances by the Gondorian man, with the Ranger observing and giving his own inputs. Gimli was sharpening his axe, with a faraway look in his eyes, Sam was pestering Frodo to take a bite and ah, there was Legolas, returning from his scout duties.

"It is time," he thought grimly.

Everyone turned to him as he cleared his throat.

"Gather round, we need to discuss something."

They looked at each other and shrugged. Listen to the wizard.

Gandalf started, "It is time to brush up on your basics on the nature of Mary-Sues and their male counterpart, Gary-Stu.

A collective groan was heard, but they knew, as much as they hated it, the lecture was necessary for their survival.

He glared at them as he continued, "Since everyone seems so confident about their knowledge regarding the next upcoming evil after Sauron, why don't each of you state one of its main attribute, hmm?"

The whole group fell silent.

Frodo was the first one to speak. He said hesitantly, "It must have a fancy name? And know how to sing?" He paused, then added, "And it must have absolutely no actual purpose in the story?"

Gandalf grumbled and gestured for the others to continue.

Aragorn said, "If born in Arda, it must have a noble lineage."

Gimli looked up from his Axe®, "The laddie/lassie must have an angsty background", and went back to what he was doing.

Legolas shuddered as he added, "Everyone will love it, except a few who would conspire against it but later become closest companions."

Merry piped up, "She, sorry, it must be really, really beautiful, impossibly so, actually."

Sam added, "And mostly, it will join the Fellowship. Oh, and it can tame any animal."

Boromir sighed. It was his turn. "It is well-versed in combat, being able to defeat most of the Fellowship and more than half of the enemy-line in the blink of an eye."

Gandalf turned to the youngest member of the Fellowship and was startled to see the look on his face. Pippin's face was ashen, as if he had seen a ghost.

"Pippin?"

Said person's voice was barely a notch above a whisper, "Oh no!"

"What is the matter, Pip?"

"Uh, Gandalf?!"

"Yes, Peregrin, I'm listening."

"Hobbit!Legolas is a Gary-Stu."

The dead silence that followed was finally broken by two screams.

"FOOL OF A ….."

"PEREGRIN TOOK!"

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

Oops? :D

**Crescent Moon Dancer**, you asked for a Gary-Stu story. Is this okay?

Reviews are wonderful, they make my heart sing. Get the hint? *wink wink*

Thanks for reading.

Any Vampire Knight fan out there? I've started a new story, "Ghost of a rose", mind trying it out?

**Edit: **I addeda little something in the story after having a conversation with **Onyx Faye. **One of the most important points and I forgot to include it. Sheesh.


	10. Chapter 9: Everything goes to hell

**Warning: **Umm, character death inside? And this won't be light and fluffy like the other chapters.

**Chapter 9: Everything goes to hell**

Annabeth Bell claimed to have read all the works of Prof. Tolkien that can be there and was proud of the fact that she wasn't one of those lower life-forms that claimed to be fans of Middle-Earth by just seeing those fanfiction adaptations of a certain director.

As a result, when she ultimately landed in ME, she was perfectly sure of her location, very much like the fellow travelers to the alternate dimension, which quite baffles the scribe of this tale as she (the scribe, that is) would be lost with even ten maps in hand, let alone none.

So, Annabeth, with her abundant knowledge calculated that she couldn't be anywhere else but the Gap of Rohan.

Now, even if anyone had discerned the location, they would turn to any road other than the North-west.

But she didn't. Eru knows what gave her the idea that she would be able to change the mind of a certain Rainbow Wizard, but anyway, she made her way towards Isengard.

And for that interference from a foolish mortal who thought she had it in herself to change the fate of a world she never belonged to, we are in our current predicament.

Oh no, don't get me wrong, she did change the fate of the world, but in a way no one dreaded even to think. No one except Sauron.

This is what happened.

Saruman was the one who had breached the fabrics of space and time to bring her to this world. He knew she would come to him, for he had excelled in the matters of Elves and Men always and their hearts held no secrets that he wouldn't know.

Living a sheltered life, she thought that she would be unaffected by the ministrations of the one who was deemed one of the Brightest even among the Wise. Though she was stronger than we give her the credit for, she did resist the honeyed tongue of the wizard.

Nonetheless, she had nothing else to do but open her mind to him when her fingernails were plucked and skin avulsed, all the while being hung upside-down over a pit of fire.

She didn't live long after the vile wizard had extracted what he needed to know.

What followed was the darkest part in the history of our world.

It started with The Shire. The picturesque village was attacked in the middle of the night, burnt down to ashes, the people not even knowing what hit them as they breathed their last.

Bilbo Baggins and his cousin young Frodo were captured and taken to the lair of the once White Wizard and their screams of pain could be heard all over the Fangorn, until they were silenced.

The One Ring was swiftly delivered to its one and only wielder.

The Three Elven kingdoms were attacked simultaneously.

Lórien fell first. Nenya was cut off from the hands of The Lady of the Light, her husband fell while protecting her. She herself could not be saved from the mortal wounds she received. Only a handful of elves managed to flee. Rest were taken as captives.

Imladris fared none better. The Lord of the Valley, his seneschal and one of his twin sons were among the few that escaped to wilderness. The Evenstar was taken to the depths of Mordor, so was Vilya. Once again, a hidden valley burned, but this time, there was no salvation for the survivors.

But, our land was the one that took the worst of it all. Attacked from two sides, Dol Guldur and Gundabad, we didn't really stand a chance. Our King allied with the Naugrim, we fought, fought against all hopes, but what can become of the army who had to witness their King being decapitated and his head being hung from the ramparts? Their only prince being torn limb by limb by Mordor beasts?

The Men had even little hope. Théoden King, newly crowned, led the charge against the combined army of orcs and goblins. Rohan lost.

So did Gondor.

And last but not the least, Saruman was slain. For a traitor was never to be trusted, Sauron was aware of that much at least.

And now we, the Last Rebellion of The Free People of Middle-Earth, wait, under the command of a ruthless, one-handed Ranger who would have become the King in the future.

We wait for the help to come from beyond the shores. We will be heading off to one last battle, one last time.

And this time, the Valar will be aiding us to rout the evil that is slowly crushing the heart of Arda.

I was instructed to write this account to warn the future generation to not meddle in the matters of the past.

We have very little hope left, but, still we hope, that by reading this, the people in the future would be compassionate enough to give us the world that was to be.

Maybe, without the interference from them, the past can be changed.

We hear the clear horns of the Blessed Realms.

Time to march.

Signing off,

Lady Merenil, former Queen of Greenwood the Great.

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

**A/N: **Well that's it. My heart shattered while writing that.

I edited the last chapter a bit; you may want to read it again.

Thanks to those who reviewed, followed and/or favourited:

**OneSizeFitsAll  
aliena wyvern**  
**Elhini Prime**  
**Megknsis  
Lily Lindsey-Aubrey  
SilverAduial  
Pip the Dark Lord of All**

You can flame me in this chapter as much as you want.

Thanks for reading.


	11. Chapter 10 part I: The final showdown

Hellooooo~

Anyone remember me? *cricket chirps* *sobs*

**Chapter 10: The final showdown Part: I**

"Marry me, Leggy-Woogy!"

"Arry, I lurve~ you! Just ditch the stupid elf already!"

"Leggggggyyyyyyyy~~~~~~~"

Grim faces surrounded the round-table. The much feared event has finally taken place, leading to the hasty summoning of the council consisting of Kings, Queens, Ladies and Lords.

Everyone turned to King Elessar, who rose from his seat to address the council.

Clearing his throat, he started, "I suppose we are all aware why everyone has been called here at a moment's notice. Yet again, a Great Evil has risen from the depths of literary hell and by far, this is the strongest of them all. Though this has been expected since the days of our creation, but I think we all agree that we weren't expecting this so soon after the War of Ring."

Everyone nodded.

Elrond threw a glare at his seneschal. "At least if someone had the decency to pinpoint a specific time in their foolish prophecies, I would be long gone by now."

Glorfindel raised his hands in surrender, "The exact time is very difficult to discern, Elrond. I am truly sorry.", though his eyes made it clear that he was anything but.

Arwen and her brothers made a choking noise.

"You were going to abandon us in a moment of crisis like this, father?", she demanded.

Elrond had the decency to look guilty.

Legolas came up to his rescue, "Not to sound rude, My Lady, but you are not the one who has to face the brunt of their, err, affection."

This elicited a bitter laugh from the Shieldmaiden of Rohan. "That's true, no doubt, but, but Lady Arwen and I have to cope against something even worse, generally."

Arwen nodded. "More specifically, their wrath and jealousy."

A shudder ran through the halls.

Gandalf noticed the raised little hand first. "Yes, Samwise, you have a question?"

Sam glanced at everyone around the room, then asked, "Mister Gandalf, what is this great danger that we are talking about? I mean, Sauron is already gone, isn't he? Mister Frodo made sure of that. What can be worse than him?"

As everyone stared at him incredulously, a grumble was heard, "And if I had asked this question, I would hear the words 'Fool of a Took' in no time."

"What was that, Pippin?"

This time, a sigh. "Nothing Gandalf."

Aragorn spoke up again. "You must have noticed the recent influx of, ahem, those abominations in and around the Middle-Earth? There is no way that you missed the flocks of messengers that have been arriving for the last two weeks? And you have to be stone-deaf to miss the shrieks and squeals outside the city gates." When Sam agreed, he continued. "We are under siege, all kingdoms, at the same time. Sauron was most definitely a formidable foe. But what we are facing is something that defies all reasons. We have come at such a point that a battle is eminent." He gave a dramatic pause. "With the current King and Queen of Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus."

This time Pippin could not stop himself, "Who are they?"

Elrond's face was grave when he uttered the words, "King Edward the Shiny and Queen Bella the Whiny….. "

Various types of coughs were heard throughout the council, which made Elrond go red in the face (Maybe, because they were poorly concealed snickers. Then again, that was a little below the dignity of the lords and ladies, so who knows.)

Elrond glared at them. " ….. and their minions. This is no laughing matter. That's why this Council was summoned, Master Peregrin."

Pippin nodded sagely.

Lady Galadriel said, "Speaking of the Council, was the King of Greenwood (in mind she added, 'that stuck-up *%&amp; #*! ') not informed of this?"

Legolas looked worried, "Yes, I notified him personally. He said he would find a cure to end this problem once and forever. But after that, he is not answering any letters. I just hope he is not in trouble."

The shouts outside crescendoed to a cringe-worthy level and then stopped. Completely.

Glorfindel shouted, "No one goes out! This might be a trap to lure us in!"

They hesitated for a few moments, and then rushed out.

Pretty elf-lord sighed, unsheathed his sword and followed the morons.

The Mary-sues and the fangirls had disappeared altogether. What they saw was a black contraption, parked in one of the lower levels, with The Woodland King standing beside it, talking to two tall men.

Legolas nearly flew to meet Thranduil, "Father, are you alright?"

He turned to his son, "And why wouldn't I be?"

Legolas looked flustered. "What is that….. thing?" He eyed the strangers. One of them raised an eyebrow. The taller one offered a hesitant smile. "Who are they?"

At this, Thranduil smirked, "That is a 'car'. Like I said son, I will find a solution to end this. And these two gentlemen seemed like a perfect solution to me."

Then he looked at the King of the United Realm of Gondor and Arnor. "They are gone, Ranger. Those abominations have been destroyed for good."

"But how? And how did they help? Who ARE they?"

"It's a long story."

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo**

A/N: dundundunnn~ Did I leave a cliff-hanger? Oh my (that was a last minute decision, as I yet have to write the epic battle scene. And I'm lazy)! Any guess to who the saviors of Middle Earth can be?

I had actually forgotten Edward's surname. Silly me ;)

I can't believe I wasn't flamed for the last chapter! Thanks to those who reviewed, followed and/or favourited:

**OneSizeFitsAll  
aliena wyvern**  
**Elhini Prime**  
**Megknsis  
Lily Lindsey-Aubrey  
SilverAduial  
Pip the Dark Lord of All**

Anyway, time for **self-advertising**. I'm writing a **Frozen HP crossover** story, **"Beware the Frozen, wait, what?"** which is going to be a short story of about five chapters. If you have the time and don't mind basking in the glory of my awesome writing (*Cue laughter from all over the universe* Hey, I can crack a joke from time to time, right?), please check it out.

This is the last "official" chapter, so you won't mind to up the review count, would you? *wink wink*

Thanks for reading.


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